Where did the time go?
The last time I wrote was back in January. Since then my life has been a world wind of ups and downs. You too? Nothing major, but the main issues for me since January were WORRY and FEAR. Fear of what’s next… fear of what’s around the corner… or fear of doing something well. Have you ever had a time when your worries turn into the fear of “something” that just cripples your existence? When it is a new relationship, you may wonder, “will he like my family”? ”Does she want children”? All sorts of crazy things pop into your head when thinking about a new relationship with the hopes that it will work out great. When I speak with friends and clients (male and female), everyone seems to want the same thing, which is simply a warm, safe and loving partner to share their life.
OK, say its not a relationship but worrying over a recent medical exam. Do you need a biopsy for that? Aside from financial reasons, most people will not go to the doctor for routine screenings for fear of what the results may be. When a routine exam requires further testing, this is where most of the worrying begins. With a country that has had an increase in preventable diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, and cholesterol; or the staggering increase in all types of cancers, it is no wonder why some people play the ignorant card and just simply do not want to get checked out.
How often have you found out that you spent so much time worrying about something, only to learn that the actual “thing” you worried over and feared was much less problematic for you? Too much worrying and fear that goes unchecked, naturally leads to depression. When we are joyful, we enjoy the moment we are in. We never want the feeling to end and often try to relish in that emotion for as long as possible. Like joy or happiness, fear is a process by which we need to be mindful of being in that moment. We have no problem lingering in joyous moments, so why don’t we do the same with worry or fear? Although an uncomfortable emotion, we need to understand worry and fear as guides that prepare us for what comes next, without allowing these emotions to overtake our mind and body. Try following these three simple steps that can help you understand and process every day worries without letting it lead to fear:
- Breathe – in that moment, taking deep soothing breaths will slow the mind and allow you to focus your energy on not being consumed by the worry or fear of the unknown. This will allow you to clearly think about your next step.
- Determine if it’s real or imagined – once you are able to focus, you can asses whether your fear is real or imagined. When you are focused, you will be able to clearly make that determination. When you determine that it is imagined, then you will gain more control of your life, leaving less time for worrying.
- Knowledge is key – once you can assess your emotions and determine you have a legitimate worry or fear about something, then you can begin to focus your energy on obtaining the necessary information to act in your situation. You are apt to make a rash decision about something when you have not stopped to breathe and assess what is going on.
None of us enjoy the emotions of worry and fear. We cringe and do not look forward to hearing the results of a medical exam, when we embark on a new relationship, or prepare for an important presentation. However, embracing the journey of these emotions helps us to be more in tuned with our lives and creates a more balanced outlook on life. Practice being in the moment of your worries and fears, and I promise you that your joys will be more appreciated.